What else can I do
by Serenitas
Summary: Usagi's torment goes deeper than the Senshi thought. The cowled figure has a name as his true motives are revealed...he's watching her always... Usagi is the destroyer and the salvation...which part of her will win this battle?
1. The Dream is my Reality

Hello all, yes I'm starting another fic, but it won't be comedy. This is of course Usagi/Mamoru and basically I have them against the rest of the world. This first chapter will be very dark as I've had a horribly wretched day and the only way I can keep going without screaming or crying any more is to write. This is my therapy along with listening to the most depressing music I own. To those looking for my other story I had begun "What if I do?" don't bother. I got too many flames and too many disparaging remarks and couldn't take anymore. Perhaps I am a moral-less and loose person who is a horrid writer, maybe those flamers were right, I don't know. Anyway, here I go again, please read and review but be kind. NO FLAMES. If this one gets the same reaction my other one did then I'll take it down as well and consider taking all my stuff of FF.net altogether. (Yes I'm feeling sorry for myself today.) Standard disclaimers apply. SM not mine, someone else's.  
  
  
  
It was the words that had sunk in first. 'You have no talent, you are a horrible person, you can't do anything right, I wish I'd never met you.' Tsukino Usagi stood there as the words ran through her mind, her unable to even move, unable to do anything other than cry. Her day which had started so promising had gone from bad to worse as the insults mounted, as the disparaging remarks continued, as the teasing never ceased. She noticed her teacher Ms. Haruna staring at her strangely. "Usagi," she began. "Go home for the day. Is there anything you want to talk about?"  
  
Usagi shook her head, desperate to get out of the school and away from her teacher. 'I can't take this anymore. I have to escape.' She thought. "I'm fine Haruna-sensei." She pasted a false smile on her face and prayed that her teacher went for it.  
  
"Dismissed."  
  
Usagi ran from her teacher's presence, out the door and away from the school as fast as her feet would take her. She ran towards the forest, towards the thickest part of the woods where she could scream and no one would hear. She ignored the pedestrians who gave startled looks to her as she ran with a single minded intensity, ignored the voices of her friends calling to her, ignored the voice of her boyfriend Mamoru. She ignored it all and ran, finding the running itself therapeutic. Following the pathless forest instinctively, knowing more by feel than by anything else where she was going, she reached 'her' spot and collapsed, letting the tears flow the way she wanted. Loud and coarse, each one seeming to tear up her soul, ripping another piece of her out and laying it bare. Normally her tears cleansed her and made her feel better, but this time her tears only sank her deeper into the black pit that had opened at her feet, a pit into which she sank deeper. 'There's no way out.' She thought despairingly. 'I can't take this any longer.' What was the point of going home? She was so tired she couldn't sleep anymore, so she just paced her room endlessly at night, and when she could sneak away from Luna and Chibi Usa she wandered the streets of Juuban not caring where she went, not caring who saw her. What would it matter if she died?  
  
"Usako?" a quiet voice broke through her thoughts.  
  
She lifted her red-tinged eyes to the frantic eyes of Mamoru who breathed a sigh of relief. He asked no other words, just held his arms out for her to go to them. With a heart-wrenching wail she threw herself into his arms and let the tears come again. She couldn't find the words to speak, so she touched their link and let everything she felt course through her. "Let me die." She whispered harshly.  
  
"What?" he looked at her, startled.  
  
"It's just easier than dealing with the pain." She shook her head.  
  
"Was it her again?" he asked, knowing that she was a target at school.  
  
"It's not even that," she sighed, her tears starting to fade, though her body shook terribly. "It's everything Mamo-chan."  
  
"I don't understand."  
  
"What I've felt, what I've known, never shined through in what I've sown, I'll never be free, never be me." She explained. "Today it got to me. I can't be myself, I can't be who I want to be. I have to live up to the expectations of a world that won't miss me if I die for it."  
  
"How could you say that Usako?" he looked at her, fear in his eyes.  
  
"Never free, never me." She repeated, obviously inconsolable, unable to listen to any words other than the horrible insults that had been thrown at her this day, the horrible scolding she had received before she had even opened her eyes, the fight she had gotten into in school that had resulted in her detention, the insults thrown at her for the one thing she had thought she was good at, only to realize that she wasn't good at all.  
  
Mamoru didn't say a word, he just gathered her in his arms and carried her to his apartment.  
  
  
  
  
  
Minako and Rei crossed paths as they paced Mamoru's apartment. He still hadn't come out of his room with Usagi. A bolt of lighting tore the sky and Artemis frowned at Makoto who looked unapologetic. "I don't care about controlling my feelings right now." She said in a tight voice.  
  
"What happened?" Rei asked in a dangerously low voice. Someone had hurt her princess badly and whoever it was WOULD pay. She loved to hate Usagi, fought with her like a dog with her bone, but when the chips were down she was her strongest supporter.  
  
Ami closed her book and sighed. "She wasn't in the best mood when she arrived at school today, I can only guess that Luna laid into her for something this morning."  
  
Makoto nodded. "Right, and then that bastard Merltak and his bitchy girlfriend Ingra really got into it with her about her grades. Usagi had actually done well on her test and was proud, and Ingra laid into her for no reason at all. She called her stupid and moronic, told her to get off her high horse, told her to stop acting like such a prima donna, like she was so important to all, told her she was a nothing, lower than the dirt, lower than worms and that's all she ever would be. Her so-called talents were worthless, her abilities less than nothing and the only reason she's ever made it this far was because people took pity on her because she'll never get any further in life on her own."  
  
Ami picked up when Makoto stopped for breath. "Then Merltak jumped in and told her she was nothing but a loose bitch with no morals and no values because she spent so much time with a man who was older than she was. He called her so many names that I really can't repeat them."  
  
"What did Usagi do?" Rei questioned.  
  
"She stood there and took it like she always does." Makoto replied.  
  
"And you didn't do anything in her defense?" Rei's voice raised dangerously.  
  
"We couldn't! She's made us promise not to do anything for her when we are school! She says she has to learn to stand on her own two feet and that means that we can't help her no matter how much we want to." Makoto protested. "Otherwise I would have pounded them into mulch!"  
  
"So what can we do?" Rei questioned, feeling the urge to hurt something, break something.  
  
"We wait." Ami said sitting back.  
  
  
  
Mamoru smoothed the hair off Usagi's forehead and watched her sleeping face. He would have left to rejoin the girls in the living room, but Usagi refused to let go of him and so he compromised by laying next to her and holding her. Her body had finally stopped shaking and she had relaxed after she fell asleep, though he could only imagine what she was dreaming as the occasional sob still shook her body and tears leaked through her closed eyes. "Poor Usako," he whispered. "You've had a bitch of a day." He had felt everything she did through the link, it was how he had tracked her once his initial shock at her emotions had faded. He normally didn't follow her when she wanted to be alone, but he didn't trust her emotional state or judgement at this point. It was one of those days to the umpteenth degree and he couldn't help her, couldn't do anything else for the one he loved but hold her and hope it was enough.  
  
  
  
Usagi's dreams were tormented by the mocking voices and faces of Ingra and Merltak, joined by the faces of her friends, Naru, Umino, Luna, Chibi Usa, Mamoru. She writhed on the bed, her body a whirling dervish as her mind tortured her worse than the people ever could. Opening her mouth in a silent scream, she couldn't make a sound. In her dreams she was told that her fondest gift, her most cherished dream, her most secret desire – to be a writer was worthless. She was talentless, her work not good enough to read by an illiterate slug much less the common person. Her writing that she nurtured and adored, that she had lived for ever since she first picked up a pencil and learned her letters when she was 6 years old, her escape, her salvation, her desire. Mamoru knew, as did the Senshi and Naru, but no one else. No one else knew of her secret passion, no had ever read her work. Taking a chance she had used her own original ideas to create a story she had felt was spellbinding, putting her heart and soul into it, only to be shot down like nothing. She was nothing. Her talent was imagined, her writing not worth the paper it was written on. She was failure in school, in life, in her Senshi skills, and now her failure was complete. Hearing the mocking voices, remembering those hurtful words tears leaked from her closed eyes. She did not see the look of concern on Mamoru's face as she flailed about on his bed, did not see him shield himself from her flailing arms.  
  
'Worthless, useless, moral-less whore…' the seductive whisper coursed through her mind and weakened her ever further. Opening her eyes, unable to take anymore of the torture, she let out a bloodcurdling scream and sat up.  
  
  
  
The Senshi had tried to keep their concern low-key until they heard the agonized moans from Mamoru's room. Ami had discreetly knocked on the door and Mamoru had responded in a low voice telling them Usagi was in the grips of a nightmare and there was no way in hell he was leaving her. After she had checked in and seen the death grip Usagi and on Mamoru, she nodded and reported back to the Senshi. Minako was already on the phone with the Outers, feeling they deserved to know. The talked quietly amongst themselves, worry lacing the room, their tension rising. Rei paced like a caged tiger her sixth sense telling her something was not right.  
  
And then Usagi screamed.  
  
  
  
  
  
A dark voice laughed from the shadows as it watched the tortured soul. Delighting in the pain it was giving to one who deserved nothing less, the voice receded deeper into darkness to ponder the next part of its sinister plan. "First I take the mind, then the rest is child's play."  
  
  
  
  
  
And that is the end of Chapter 1. As I said it was dark, so you were warned! As I mentioned earlier I've had a horrid day and this pretty much describes it here in this story, and forgive me but I did use some direct quotes from the emails I received today, so to those who wrote them – and you know who you are, thank you for inspiring me to write a truly angst- ridden story. I would have hated to have written something light. No Flames please and hopefully chapter 2 will lighten up a bit, and hopefully my mood will improve and I'll be able to write something other than what I feel inside. And yes, the description of Usagi's writing is my description of my writing. So read review and be kind and remember – tomorrow will be lighter and better! It can't possibly get any worse than this! Anyone who wants to email me happy thoughts…it would be most appreciated!  
  
Ja ne. 


	2. Vengeful Darkness

Hello everyone and thank you for the wonderfully supportive reviews and e-mails that I received. They were much appreciated. For those who asked with concern, yesterday wasn't just about the flames and insults (though they didn't help), but it was one of THOSE days to the umpteenth degree in the rest of my 'real' life. (We've all had them right? Everything that could go wrong did?) So I appreciate all the concern and support, and to BenRG who wrote that I have a self esteem problem, you are correct sir, though I am much, MUCH better than I used to be, but there are some days where I slip. Honest reviews and constructive criticism do not bother me, but blatant flames and insults for no reason other than the fact that I'm there I do not appreciate and that does get to me. I'm trying to learn to brush it off. So thank you all for your concern and here is chapter 2!  
  
  
  
The first thing Usagi came aware of was the arms of Mamoru around her calming her as she bolted awake. Disoriented, she knew nothing other than she was safe for the moment. She still heard the mocking laughter from her dream and she was convinced she knew the voice that was causing her this pain. "Mamo-chan?" she asked softly.  
  
"I'm here Usako," He said firmly, reassuring. "I'm not going anywhere."  
  
Usagi breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed in his grip. The door slammed open as her senshi stampeded in. "Are you ok?" Rei asked, her eyes wild with fear.  
  
Usagi nodded. "Thank you for your concern, I think I'm ok now. It's been such a wretched day."  
  
Makoto smoothed some hair from Usagi's flushed face. "I could kill Ingra and Merltak." She fumed.  
  
Usagi shook her head. "I have to learn to fight for myself Makoto."  
  
Makoto pounded one fist into the bed. "But you never fight back Usagi! All you do is stand there and take and I can't for the life of me figure out why!"  
  
Usagi dropped her eyes. "Because perhaps on some level I feel I deserve it." She said softly.  
  
"Are you serious?" Ami questioned, her eyes wide. "Usagi what happened to you today no one deserved. You were upset before you ever came to school. What happened at home?"  
  
"I don't want to talk about it." Usagi averted her eyes. "Luna got angry at me again. I swear Ami that I can't take living with her anymore."  
  
"Why was she so angry? Did you oversleep?"  
  
"I think she was just looking for a reason. When worse comes to worse, there's always Chibi Usa. She's reason enough for Luna to scream at me." Usagi admitted. "I'm at the point where I don't even want to go home anymore because I know they are there and I can't take it."  
  
"Then don't go home anymore." Mamoru said quietly. "Stay here with me."  
  
Rei's eyes widened. "That's not proper Mamoru!"  
  
Mamoru sighed in exasperation. "She could stay in the spare bedroom Rei! Get those ecchi thoughts out of your head."  
  
Usagi smiled. "I'd like that very much Mamoru, but you know I can't, not yet."  
  
Mamoru shook his head. "I'd like you consider it Usako. With your emotional state right now, I really don't want to be too far from you, in case you have another episode like this again."  
  
Usagi laughed shortly. "I'm hoping to be better Mamo-chan. Minna, Arigatou for your help but I have to learn to take my lumps like everyone else."  
  
"Lumps yes," Makoto agreed. "But not a full fledged body beating. No Usagi, I don't agree with you on this. Don't let yourself feel sorry for yourself."  
  
Usagi raised her eyes to the clear ones of her friend. "I can't help it. There's something inside my mind that won't let me rest, won't give me peace. It tortures and torments me, deriding me and hurting me. I can't explain it."  
  
Ami and Rei eyed Usagi speculatively. "Isn't it your inner voice that's doing that?" Rei asked delicately.  
  
"Not just." Usagi sighed. "Sorry, I never should have brought it up. I'd like to go home now please."  
  
Minako poked her head in the room. "The Outers are on their way."  
  
Usagi groaned. "You didn't tell them about this did you?"  
  
"Ever word." Minako said cheerfully. "Usagi, you aren't going through this alone."  
  
Usagi smiled weakly. "Arigatou, I think."  
  
  
  
  
  
From the darkness a voice cackled, rejoicing in her pain. The sweet pain and agony that she suffered. She deserved nothing less for what she had done to him. Once so strong and powerful, now reduced to existing as nothing more than a shadow, but a malevolent one. Blackness surrounded him and he embraced it. Once he had been a shining star in the sky, had everything to live for, everything going his way, until SHE had crossed his path. She had turned his family members against him, had abandoned him to his fate. He had once served one of the most malevolent evil forces that ever existed and had nearly won against her, yet he had been damned both in his future life and in his present one. He had learned much during that time when he had been trapped between life and death, stuck between planes of existence. He learned how to infiltrate the mind where she could not fight him. Her deepest insecurities were laid bare to him as he planned to use it to his advantage, planned to make her suffer and know agony on a level she had never dreamed.  
  
He rubbed his burned and blackened hands together. He was back and he would get even with her. She would pay in blood for all she had done to him.  
  
  
  
  
  
Usagi lay on her bed with her eyes shut and sighed deeply. She had not expected Mamoru to be so concerned, and it amused her. He had been frantic with worry over her and though she loved him, she somewhat resented how everyone had suddenly decided that she wasn't able to take care of herself. She had been through much. She felt the gentle hand of sleep stretching out to her, her refuge from the world, her ability to escape the hell that was her everyday life. It seduced her into evening out her breathing as she began to dream. Realizing she was falling asleep, she pinched herself firmly and leapt off her bed. She could not sleep. Strange things lurked in the shadows of her dreams and she was afraid to sleep. She had discovered coffee, a substance she considered vile and horrid (A.N – personally I can't live without it…) just to stay awake. She sighed.  
  
It was a catch-22 really. If she stayed awake then she left herself open for lectures and scoldings from Luna or derision and taunting from Chibi Usa who still declared that Mamoru was hers. Usagi shook her head. What a screwed up life this was! If only things could be easy, but when she looked back on it, her childhood hadn't been easy or happy. She had always been in trouble thanks to Shingo, had always been teased and taunted for being 'different.' Different. Such a small word but one that made her life hell. The alone tormented her days, the difference opening her up to scorn and ridicule. She wanted to say she hated her life, but she could not form the words, thinking them too selfish. Her life didn't belong to her, it belonged to everyone on earth. They controlled her life. She supposed she loved each person alive, she must since she had died for them countless times, but the sense of normality that she yearned for would forever be beyond her reach.  
  
  
  
  
  
Chibi Usa eyed her future mother through the doorway, smiling in glee as she realized that she looked upset and miserable. This was a perfect opportunity to torment her. Usagi was much more fun when she wasn't being introspective, and she loved to wind her up and hurt her. She didn't consider Usagi to really be her mother and so with that in mind, Mamoru wasn't really her father. Anything she did here wouldn't affect the future. Foolish thoughts from a little girl who had no concept that time was fluid, no idea that the future was not set and what was done could be undone. Opening the door a little wider, she prepared to strike, forming a blade with words that would cut to the soul of the girl who had almost died for her.  
  
  
  
Luna stared curiously at Chibi Usa who was watching Usagi. What a ridiculous household and one she longed to leave. But Chibi Usa required her loyalty, required her protection. What could Usagi do to help her? She was unskilled and unworthy of her titles. The instant Chibi Usa had been revealed as the future Queen, Luna's allegiance had shifted to her. The mother was no longer worthy of her notice, useful only for feeding her. Chibi Usa was the future and Usagi was the past. She had watched Usagi sleep at night, heard her say she heard a voice in her head. Foolishness. The girl had an overactive imagination, not having anything relevant to say. Luna had snooped through her private writings, the writing no one ever read, with the exception of her closest friends from time to time. Usagi hid much and Luna had had enough of it. The girl deserved being yelled at this morning. It didn't matter that she had done nothing wrong, it didn't matter that Artemis had rejected Luna's advances the night before, didn't matter that he wasn't certain he wanted to be 'that way' with her. None of that mattered. It mattered that she had to yell at someone and Usagi was as good a target as any.  
  
  
  
Usagi's thoughts were broken by the beeping of her communicator. "Moon here." She reported.  
  
Minako's face appeared. "Youma by the lake." She reported.  
  
"In the park?" Usagi arched an eyebrow.  
  
Minako giggled. "I get so tired of saying that, so I changed the wording. Anyway hurry up! It's slimy and I don't like it."  
  
"Did you call the Outers?"  
  
"They'll show up if we're in danger. Hurry up Usagi!"  
  
"On my way." Usagi closed her communicator and transformed. As she transformed she felt a tugging, something changing inside her, as if there was some resistance to the henshin. Once she was transformed she leapt out the window and into the night.  
  
  
  
  
  
Luna and Chibi Usa followed her closely, anxious to watch her fail once more. What they saw when they got to the park took them quite by surprise. Usagi and the senshi had apparently taken care of the youma and it's cohorts, for there were piles of dust from Usagi's attacks everywhere and the result of Uranus and Mars firing their strongest attacks, but it was another enemy who had Usagi on her knees that drew their attention.  
  
  
  
Usagi had found it odd. The youma were almost too easy to beat, too easy to destroy. All of her senshi were there with Tuxedo Kamen in the background supporting her as he always had. She was grateful Chibi Moon wasn't there, since she had taken the ginzuishou from the future from her and given it to Setsuna who had returned it to her future self. Once the last youma was destroyed she felt a gust of wind. A black hooded shadow stood before her, menacing and threatening. Fear lanced through her as she heard a low chuckle – the same chuckle that haunted the worst of her dreams. She knew that laugh. The dream had suddenly become reality as her eyes locked on the unseen eyes under the hood. Through no will of her own she dropped to her knees, the shouts of her senshi fading as the hooded one drew nearer to her. "You will pay for what you have done to me." He promised in a whisper, his hood just brushing her cheek. "You see what I have become? Once a great warrior, one of THE greatest warriors on my planet, reduced to almost ash. I can never harm you enough for what you have done. You have survived the tests I have given you, but you must sleep sometime moon child and when you do, I will come for you. I will be there every time you close your eyes, haunting everything you do. Your dreams are now your reality. Once I have stripped everything from you, then I will start taking the rest of my revenge."  
  
Usagi was unable to move, unable to feel anything other than the cold chill of fear. "Who are you?" she breathed.  
  
"Don't you remember me?" the whisper was amused. "I caused your greatest heartbreak, I ruined one of the best things in your life."  
  
"I don't understand." Usagi murmured.  
  
"In time moon child you will. My servants surround you constantly, they watch you daily. I know everything about you….Tsukino Usagi. And when you least expect it, that is when I will strike. Rest assured that you will pay in blood for what you have done to me."  
  
The hooded figure stepped back from her, deflecting Uranus' World Shaking attack, deflecting all roses and other attacks thrown at him. "I give you my word." He nodded at her, still speaking in that same quiet voice.  
  
Usagi remained on her knees, shock of recognition going through her, her torment and torture starting to make sense. Mamoru ran to her. "Usako, did he hurt you?"  
  
Usagi shook her head, unable to look at him, she just kept staring at the last spot the hooded one had been. "I'm fine." She said in a small voice.  
  
"What did he say to you?" Mars demanded.  
  
"The dream is my reality." Usagi replied, unable to say more. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she fainted.  
  
  
  
So that ends chapter 2! I hope I made it interesting enough for everyone. I'm trying to add a bit of mystery in here to see how it goes over. For those who are still interested in reading my other fanfic 'What if I do?' I'm going to be posting it on my websites and also on Lady Cosmos Fanfiction Page so you can check for it there. I'm still writing the story, but I'm not putting it up on fanfic net, unless demand is great. So read and review but be kind! Remember I write based on reviews so let's keep them rolling in! Thanks again for all your touching concern. Anyone who shares the urban dream of killing your boss raise your hand and dance with me! Ah it's nice to dream…  
  
Until later! ~_^ 


	3. Damnation

Greetings all! And welcome back for chapter 3. I see my attempt at adding some mystery into the story worked quite well and I'm thrilled with the response I'm getting. Everyone has been very supportive and I appreciate it more than words can ever say. Thank you so much everyone. So without further ado…chapter 3! Read, review and be kind! Enjoy! Standard disclaimers.  
  
  
  
Haruka paced the room, the Outers being frantic with worry since Usagi fainted. Chibi Usa had been found in the bushes with Luna and had laughed at Usagi's fainting. She had since been banished to another room away from Haruka who had the strongest urge to cause the little creature bodily damage. Mamoru was currently in his bedroom with Usagi, trying to get her to wake up. Once again she had latched onto his lapels and wasn't letting go of him, as if she was hoping for protection even when she was unconscious. Rei had mentioned that her chi was off, having changed in some way and Ami was worried for her vital signs since her heart rate simply would not slow down. Even unconscious, she writhed in agony on the bed moaning. "Something's wrong. What the HELL is causing this?" she yelled to no one in particular.  
  
Minako glanced up from where she was rhythmically petting Artemis to keep busy. "I don't know Haruka, but I'm just as worried as you are." She replied.  
  
"And taking my skin off at the same time." Artemis remarked wryly. "Minako ease up on me! I'm gonna hurt for days!"  
  
"Sorry." Minako apologized, raising her hands from his back.  
  
Michiru shook her head, sighing. "She's being tormented from within. The youma were too easy to kill and when Usagi appeared, that cloaked figure suddenly showed up and had that little 'chat' with her."  
  
"What did he say to her?" Haruka shook her head, frustrated and furious. "We are sworn to protect her."  
  
"You can't protect her from her own mind." Rei said, coming into the room and sitting down, exhausted. "And that is precisely where he's attacking her. The one place she can't fight back."  
  
"And we cannot do anything to help her." Minako said sadly.  
  
Haruka was almost giving off steam. "I want to hit something!"  
  
"Understandable." Rei said.  
  
"Scratch that," Haruka moved her hand in a slashing motion. "I want to break something!"  
  
"I think I'll leave." Rei stood up hastily with Minako.  
  
"Why don't you go for a drive?" Michiru suggested, knowing it was futile. She knew her love too well.  
  
"I won't leave our princess when she needs us." Haruka replied. "Even if we can't help, I will stay. My allegiance doesn't shift, unlike her Royal Advisor's." she said pointedly.  
  
"Hey!" Artemis stood up, his back arching. "Don't hold me to account for what Luna has done! I didn't know she'd turn to Chibi Usa once she was found to be the future Queen! I serve Usagi and it is her that I am loyal to."  
  
"At least one of you is."  
  
  
  
Mamoru closed his eyes and tried to move to a more comfortable position, difficult since Usagi wouldn't release him. Even unconscious she gripped him with more strength than he had though she had. She was white as a sheet, her lips almost blue. Her heart raced quickly and Ami told him she was worried about a spontaneous cardiac arrest. She writhed and tossed on the bed, much like she did when she slept. He stared at the dark circles under her eyes, knowing instinctively that she hadn't been sleeping. He could smell the coffee on her still. Something was inside the deepest recesses of her mind, something she was trying to avoid, something that she couldn't hide from. "Come on Usako, wake up." He pleaded for the umpteenth time in as many minutes.  
  
Her eyelids twitched and she opened her huge blue eyes, pausing for a moment as she took a look around. "Mamo-chan?" she asked in a small voice.  
  
He instantly gathered her close. "I'm here Usako." He assured her. "You're safe."  
  
"No, I'm not." She said, a sob in her voice. "He's with me. He's taunting me. No matter where I go I'm not safe! He's twisting my mind and warping my brain!"  
  
"Who?" he demanded. "Who is doing this to you?"  
  
"I dare not speak his name. He is someone we thought we had defeated years ago. I didn't think he made it out of that fire, but apparently he did. I never gave him a second thought but he has thought of nothing but me since that day. He has come for vengeance." Usagi explained, burying her face in the crook of his neck. "Hold me Mamoru and help me forget that I am hunted in my mind."  
  
  
  
He threw back his cowled head and laughed. "So you dare not speak my name? Do you not yet realize that fear of a person increases the power more than anything else? Do you think that not speaking my name will stop me or bring you freedom? You will be mind yet moon child. You will pay in blood as I take your mind. Once I have your mind, your soul will follow leaving your body for me to toy with before I destroy you utterly. Once you are gone then I can come back, your life is all that stands in my way of possessing a healthy life once more. I will rise again and wreak such havoc that the world has never seen!"  
  
The cowl fell back to reveal a man who once might have been handsome, but was now twisted and withered. Where there had once been hair, there was broken and burned flesh. His eyes glowed an unnatural red, his evil will being the only thing that truly held him together. He should have been ashes, but his hatred had kept him alive, had nurtured him as he drew his strength in that netherworld between time and planes of existence. He had returned and she would not survive. He cared nothing for the senshi, though he had been disgusted to discover more of them. No matter, it meant that there were all that many more for him to kill. His target was not them, his target wasn't the child. No, he wanted her and he would have her. She would pay. "My servants, make sure that when you next see her you increase the level of torment. I want her broken!" he ordered.  
  
"Yes." The hissing reply surrounded him and he returned to contemplating her downfall in silence, drawing his hood over his head once more.  
  
  
  
Usagi walked slowly to school the next day, well over an hour early, not only escaping Luna who had begun harping on her from the moment that cat had awoke. Usagi hadn't slept, discovering it was quite possible to live without sleep. Blinking her eyes due to the fact that she was seeing double, she crossed the street to the school and headed for her homeroom. She grinned mirthlessly thinking that the Goddess had a sense of irony, it seemed. Haruna-sensei had transferred to her high school and wound up teaching her once more. Both of them had nearly dropped in their tracks when she had first walked into her classroom. Their highly charged relationship picked up where it had left off, Haruna getting mad at Usagi for the slightest thing and Usagi not bothering to change. "Ohayo Haruna- sensei." She said quietly, sitting in her desk and lowering her face into her arms.  
  
Ms. Haruna had dropped her book when Usagi had sat down and looked as though she had seen a ghost. "Usagi? Daijobu desu ka?"  
  
"Hai." Usagi's muffled answer came.  
  
Haruna decided she was not going to complain about the miracle of Usagi being early. Picking her book up once more, she tuned Usagi out.  
  
"So you're actually here on time for once." A coldly sneering voice said.  
  
Usagi shuddered, hoping they wouldn't notice. Trying to pretend she was asleep, she ignored the voice, hoping against hope that it would go away and leave her alone.  
  
"You lazy little bitch. Decided to be on time for once. Trying to score brownie points with the teachers?" the voice became mocking. "It won't work. They all hate you and can't stand you. No one wants you here, why don't you just transfer and go somewhere where people will actually care about you? Certainly no one cares about you here in this school. Nothing but a slut, dating a man so much older. You're like a mouse inside a maze. You will never belong in this school, you're too stupid to do anything."  
  
Usagi raised her head, absorbing the words. "Ingra, go away." She said in a dead voice, each word she spoke striking her heart.  
  
"I only speak the truth. Several people who hate you have come to me and told me to tell you how horrid you really are and that we don't want you here. You don't belong here, you odango-haired freak." She spat.  
  
"Indeed my love." Merltak put his arms around Ingra's waist and Usagi wailed silently in despair. Now things would get messy. "You are such a worthless lump of flesh, a waste of the air it takes to keep you alive. You would have been better dying at birth. I've read your work you know, your writing is terrible. I bet you thought you had talent and skill. Well you don't. A blind and mute mouse could write and do anything better than you. You are the ugliest and worst person I've ever seen."  
  
"What have I ever done to you?" Usagi asked in a despairing voice. She fought not to cry, she would not give them the satisfaction of letting them see her cry.  
  
"You're here aren't you?" Merltak replied, his eyes filled with hatred.  
  
"All I've ever done…" Usagi began.  
  
"Is nothing." He interjected smoothly. "So worthless. You should practice your future career of lying on your back and spreading your legs…scratch that. You are so ugly that no man would want you; so dumb that even you would screw up the act. Why don't you just go live on the streets where all the rest of your kind go?"  
  
"My kind?" Usagi asked in a soft voice.  
  
"The fools of the world who will never become anything." He said snidely.  
  
Haruna looked up, noticing the two hovering over Usagi like vultures. She might be hard on the girl, but she didn't want her bullied. Not having heard the conversation that had been spoken in low voices, she cleared her throat. "Ingra and Merltak take your seats and leave Usagi alone."  
  
They nodded and walked away from Usagi, who was left shaking in shame, tears burning her eyes as she realized they were right. She was nothing and would amount to nothing.  
  
  
  
Makoto was being forcibly held back by Ami and Minako, having turned on her communicator and listening to every word Ingra and Merltak said to Usagi, heard Usagi's whispered answers and now heard her soft sobs she tried so hard to hide. "They're dead." She swore, pushing her sleeves up.  
  
"You can't!" Ami hissed. "We promised Usagi we wouldn't interfere!"  
  
"I don't give a damn!" Makoto swore. "Did you hear them? DID YOU? And she didn't even stand up for herself! She took it like always!"  
  
"I don't like it either." Ami replied. "I'd like nothing more than to Aqua Rhapsody their asses from here to next year but we can't! Usagi is trying to prove something to herself and if we intervene, even behind the scenes then she'll never trust us again!"  
  
"I can try and hex their relationship." Minako sighed. "But other than that, we can't do anything!" she smashed her fist into the wall. "And now we have to go in there and keep a straight face and pretend that we didn't just hear Usagi get her self esteem smashed into the ground."  
  
"Shall we perhaps put Plan A into action?" Makoto pleaded. "Please?"  
  
"We'll have to be subtle about it." Ami said quietly. "She can't suspect."  
  
"You must be pissed Ami if you're agree to disobey Usagi's direct orders." Minako pointed out. "Good for you!"  
  
"Let's do it." Ami said decisively.  
  
  
  
Makoto, Ami and Minako entered the class, having been alerted by Luna that Usagi had left early. It didn't matter, they already knew, Haruka, Michiru and Setsuna kept Usagi under constant surveillance and Haruka reported in when Usagi had left the house. Luna wanted them at school because she was certain that Usagi would klutz out or do something equally stupid. They had seen her sink down in her seat and mind her own business, had seen Ingra and Merltak focus on her and move in for the kill. Taking their seats, forming a protective circle around her, making certain there was no way they'd get to except through them, Usagi's senshi prepared to do a secret battle on her behalf.  
  
  
  
He was thrilled. His servants were doing wonderfully. He was always inside her head these days and he had heard the spiteful and hateful words that they had spoken, felt Usagi's pain and relished it. Her pain made him stronger. He would rise again and the world would tremble at his feet. For a moment he let himself be visible in her mind, let her know that he was with her even now, and it didn't matter if she was asleep or not, she couldn't escape him. He saw her almost leap out of her chair, heard her moan of despair and delighted in it. 'There is no escape from me.' He planted the thought in her head, knowing it would repeat and slowly drive her mad. 'You are nothing.'  
  
  
  
Usagi clutched her head tightly. He was with her now. She couldn't escape him, couldn't fight him. He knew her weakness and exploited them. She was losing this battle and knew that she was going hopelessly and irrevocably insane. How could she fight an unseen and thought to be dead enemy who lived in her head?  
  
Standing up, she interrupted Haruna-sensei's class and ran from the room, uncertain where she was going, just knowing she had to get out of that classroom. The unseen eyes in her head watched her and went with her.  
  
  
  
Ingra and Merltak exchange satisfied smiles. Their master's plan was proceeding nicely, their part in his return to power successful. Standing as well, they followed her, preparing to strike the moonchild when she was down. They would tear her apart and leave her open and ready for their master.  
  
  
  
  
  
And that is the end of chapter 3! I hope you enjoyed it! Reviews are life to me so please review but be kind! No flames please. I write based on reviews to keep sending them in eh? In chapter 4 the hooded figure is revealed at last! Anyone figure out who he is yet?  
  
  
  
See you soon! ^_^ 


	4. Does it even matter?

Greetings all! Well I've been told I've tortured everyone enough and I will reveal the cowled figure today. It was suggested that it could be Pharaoh 90, but I'm thinking that Saturn stuck her Silence Glaive where the sun doesn't shine on him. There have been quite a few guesses so today that part will be revealed. I hope you are enjoying this story, as I am! Standard disclaimers. No Flames.  
  
  
  
Usagi stared out at the sky, convinced she was going insane. His voice was inside her, along with a set of invisible eyes. He saw all she did, heard all she thought, knew all she was. He was breaking her down. It had started so small, just little comments in the beginning, small insults really. They did their job, slowly breaking down her self esteem from the inside. The most teasing comments from her best friends suddenly became barbs aimed directly at her very soul. The hateful words spoken by Ingra and Merltak only served one purpose. She imagined that they were his servants. "I must speak his name." She said softly. "But I cannot. He has hurt me so much, not just now, but in the past he ruined my happiness. How can I speak the name of one so evil?"  
  
"Easily." A silky voice said behind her.  
  
Her eyes widened, knowing the voice. She turned to him. "All I hear and see is your laughter, laughing at my cries." She said softly.  
  
"You fear me and that is not only good, but proper. The more you fear me the stronger I will become. One of my servants has already agreed to give me possession of his body when my strength peaks again." He seemed to float over the ground, coming to stand before her. The stench of burnt flesh reached her nostrils and she fought the urge to step back, determined to stand her back.  
  
"I rule you now. I want you to call me master before you break. Before the light of insanity glows in those blue orbs of yours, I want to hear you admit defeat. You can't escape me. I whisper things into your brain, assuring you that you are insane."  
  
"Get the HELL away from her!" a voice roared.  
  
The cowl turned to face almost all of the senshi. The only ones missing were Pluto, Saturn and Mars. Haruka's hands glowed as she held her attack at the ready, surrounded by other senshi whose attacks were ready to be thrown. "Would you risk hitting your precious leader just to get to me?"  
  
"Yes." They nodded. "She wants it that way."  
  
A short laugh came from the depths of the black hood. "In madness you will dwell Usagi, make no mistake. My servants perform their jobs well. I have been in your mind since the day you thought you destroyed me. I have watched the most personal and intimate details of your life so that I could figure out how to break you down. Now you are weak and I am strong. Soon I will be in a body once more. This city will fall and there will be the living dead."  
  
"No." Usagi shook her head. "Leave them. If it's me you want, then just take me."  
  
"Are you mad?" Haruka shouted. "Don't tell him that!"  
  
"A tempting offer to be sure," he glided back to Usagi, resting one charred hand on her shoulder. "But I will have this city irregardless, and I will have every part of you. There is nothing you can offer me that will change what I plan to do to this city."  
  
Usagi bit her lip. "What if I came to you willingly?"  
  
He paused. "I'm listening."  
  
"You idiot!" Haruka shouted, being held back by Michiru who looked like she wanted to add some choice words herself.  
  
"I know I'm an idiot and lazy and a crybaby. I'm a good for nothing really, but I can't let innocent people be killed because of me. I'm here to protect the people, not to damn them." Usagi explained. "He wants me to fight him, but he'll get more out of me if I go willingly, of my own free will, of my own choice."  
  
"You can't do this!" Makoto hollered. "There must be another way!"  
  
"I can't see one." Usagi replied.  
  
He tilted his head. "As I said, tempting indeed, but no. Our time will come later moonchild, make no mistake. But for the moment I prefer you living with the knowledge that I am watching you. I am inside your head always. You cannot escape me." He made a slight gesture and vanished.  
  
Usagi stood, shaking. "Rubeus." She breathed before she collapsed.  
  
  
  
Luna watched as the senshi carried the limp and unmoving form of Usagi to Haruka's car, worry lacing their every movement. "Damn that girl. Can't she do anything right?" she muttered.  
  
"I can't believe how you treat her."  
  
Luna cocked her head. "Artemis. Have you come to apologize to me?"  
  
"I have come to find out what foolishness that you are doing Luna. You've changed allegiance to Chibi Usa, a child who may not yet be born because the future is always be in motion, you've insulted and performed any number of treasonous acts towards our princess and future Queen."  
  
"Chibi Usa is the future. Usagi is nothing." Luna retorted. "Look, she can't even go to school without passing out. She didn't even bother to transform."  
  
"She was about to give herself to the enemy to save the lives of a city full of innocent people. He wants her. Only her. He'll torture the city for fun, but Usagi is his sole target. She was the reason he was almost destroyed years ago, and we never thought to follow up and see if he was truly dead, never bothered to consider he could have gotten off that spaceship, only worried about Esmeraude. He managed to keep himself alive, gather strength and he's hunting her inside her mind. She can't fight him there." Artemis explained. "But you've missed all this following around that child."  
  
"Chibi Usa is more important." Luna maintained.  
  
"You are a disgrace to the name of Royal Advisor." Artemis sneered. "You think I don't know that you're taking your temper and frustration at me out on Usagi? I don't think of you 'that way' Luna."  
  
"No, you lust after a human girl!" Luna retorted. "And she has a boyfriend!"  
  
"I don't lust after Minako anymore!" Artemis hollered.  
  
"But you did!"  
  
"I'm not going into this conversation with you for the thousandth time Luna! I thought you'd want to know what Usagi is going through; thinking that there might be some shred of compassion or caring in your heart, but I see I was wrong." Artemis shook his head. "Stay away from her if you're so convinced that Chibi Usa is the future. Nothing will happen to her, since her mother is the target. Think on that you stubborn feline!"  
  
Luna shook her head, sighing. She and Chibi Usa had some long conversations about Usagi and they both agreed that Usagi had an emotional immaturity that crippled her. Once Chibi Usa had passed the age of 10, she had become more mature than her. She had to make the others realize that Chibi Usa needed the protection and the understanding, not Usagi.  
  
  
  
Mamoru didn't bother to knock. He slammed the door to the house open, nodding curtly at the senshi before heading up the stairs to the room he knew Haruka and Michiru kept only for Usagi. He gently opened the door and saw Usagi lying on the bed, tears falling from her blue eyes as she stared blankly at the ceiling. "Usako?" he whispered.  
  
Usagi whimpered slightly and held out her arms to him. He didn't need any further prompting, gathering her close to him and rocking her. "He's back Mamo-chan. Rubeus has returned."  
  
"I know beloved. I know." He soothed. "We'll fight him again Usako. We'll win again."  
  
"How can you?" Usagi asked in a soft voice. "He's in my head. He's listening and watching. I hear his voice. I know his will. He will destroy to get to me, and though I told him I'd go to him willingly, it's not enough. He wants total destruction and domination. He's watched every private moment I've shared with the girls, with myself and with you. He's been watching us Mamo-chan."  
  
"Then that just means he's a voyeur." Mamoru replied grimly, angry at an unseen enemy who was tormenting one who didn't deserve it.  
  
"He's inside me." She whimpered again. "I can't get him out. How can I fight this way? I didn't tell any of you but the last time I tried to transform I almost couldn't. The henshin hurt me. He's changing me. He's taken so much from me already."  
  
"Then by the Goddess we take it back." Mamoru swore.  
  
Usagi didn't say anything, just closed her eyes and let Mamoru rock her to sleep, scared to sleep, but unable to avoid it any longer.  
  
  
  
  
  
**** "I've been waiting for you. I knew you had to sleep sometime. I am strongest here."  
  
"Please leave me alone."  
  
"Like you left me on the burning ship? You and that insufferable brat. She's your child you know."  
  
"I learned that years ago. I care not one way or another."  
  
"You lie."  
  
"Prove it."  
  
"Is that a challenge?"  
  
"Just leave me be."  
  
"Can you fight the fright in your soul? Can you fight me?"  
  
"I don't know how to beat you, you know that."  
  
"I do, and that is why this is so perfect. Unless you figure out how to defeat yourself, you cannot get rid of me."  
  
"What of when you are in a body once more?"  
  
"I will be immortal. You will not be able to harm me."  
  
"What is your goal here? Why did you choose me?"  
  
"The future rests on your shoulders, everything rests on you. If you are destroyed then the peaceful, utopian future will never come to be and I can rise once more. No one can oppose me other than you, and I have made certain that you are unable to fight me, even if you wanted to."  
  
"Then I have lost before I've begun."  
  
"As you always have. You are a failure, good for nothing. You are worthless and I want you to know that. I see your sanity slipping through your fingers like sand. You cannot win against me. What would you give to save this world? To save innocent lives? Your life is worth little when it comes to power I have."  
  
"I would give my soul if that was required to save innocent people. Do not harm them."  
  
"Still a sentimental fool. Why you were chosen as the herald of a new age, as the prophet of the future I'll never know. You stupid idiot, I have won and you have lost. Awake now and know that it was your stupidity that has caused the soon destruction of all. Your laziness let me stay alive. Your ignorance gave me rebirth. You are a complete failure and everyone you know, knows this. No one loves you, no one wants you. Kill yourself if you wish, for no one will miss you.  
  
Horror raced through her body at those words, as they crept into her brain and imprinted themselves on her. Believing the words to be truth, forgetting they were implanted in her brain, she thought he spoke the truth. "NO! IYADA!" she screamed, clawing at her face.  
  
Menacing laughter surrounded her and she was freed from the dream. *****  
  
  
  
Merltak and Ingra awaited orders, disgruntled at not having been able to do a double strike on Usagi. "She's weak and she's fading fast. Soon it will be your time my servants. Have patience." Rubeus commanded.  
  
"We wait." He nodded.  
  
"I will suck out her soul." Ingra rubbed her hands together eagerly. "And the bonds shall be lifted as our evil spreads freely once more."  
  
"She's still hanging on. We must accelerate my plans. Begin making her see what is not there, while I let her hear my thoughts. She will not be able to determine what is mine and what is hers."  
  
"It is done."  
  
  
  
  
  
And that is the end of chapter 4! I was going to make it longer but my fingers are stiffening up and I have a splitting headache. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please read and review! I write based on reviews! Next chapter – your eyes can deceive you, so don't trust them. Usagi's tormentors move in closer to her, accelerating her eventual collapse as the senshi race to find a way to protect Usagi.  
  
  
  
Mata ne! ^_^ 


	5. Endless Torment

Hello all! I'm so sorry to keep you all waiting for the next chapter on this story but I had to wait until I got sufficiently depressed and miserable to write another angst filled chapter and believe me this week is full of it so enjoy! Thank you to all for your patience and now that I have retaken up the thread of this story, I will be continuing it until it is finished! Thank you all for enjoying it so much! Please read and review but be kind! No flames! Standard disclaimers. (It takes a Japanese typhoon to inspire me, and a really really really really BAD day at work!) Check out my websites ne? I've done some updates on one and added a TON of mp3's and am starting to add Senshi Galleries! Go, look and check them out! If you are really nice, check out the poetry I added too!  
  
  
  
  
The dream swept over her. She could not escape it no matter how she twisted and turned and writher. His laughter tracked her, followed her. If she paused and looked up at the sky she saw his eyes watching her. How could she keep an open heart with something like this? She stared in horror at the landscape that met her eyes and saw the future. She knew that this blackened and charred mass of a city was what Rubeus intended to do to her home. She saw the living corpses of her friends, turned into his mindless servants of the undead, she saw it all through eyes that couldn't see anymore. Screaming silently in rage, in despair, in horror she clawed at her eyes with her nails, wanting to banish the sight she had seen, wanting to hurt herself, knowing she could never hurt herself enough. He had taken it from her. Deep in her soul she knew she could never become Sailor Moon again…nor the Moon Princess either…he had won.  
"Usagi! Never mind the darkness, we still can find a way!" a voice came frantically to her through her fevered dreams.  
Usagi glanced at a blood red sky, saw his narrowed green eyes staring at her, heard his cold cackles as she fell to her knees, unable to take any more torture. Power built up inside her until it exploded with her scream. Snatches of voices came to her. "Grab her quickly!"  
"By the goddess she's strong!"  
"Hold her down!"  
"She's going to hurt herself again!"  
"Tie her hands together!"  
"Usagi!"  
"Usagi!"  
"Usako!"  
"USAGI!!!!!!!!!"   
She couldn't stop screaming, her body contorting in the dream, clawing at her face. The power flowed out of her, she wondered where it all came from, and through it all was his scream of "Victory at last!"  
She had failed. Her only task to protect the world – the horrid truth was revealed…she had really been protecting the world from herself and this latent power. With the release of power she had given, she had destroyed everything she had fought and suffered to save. Unable to even kill herself, she felt a tremendous pressure on her and sank into oblivion.  
  
  
  
Rei breathed a sigh of relief as Usagi fell still as the dead. She refused to move or stop chanting the incantation that had granted Usagi peace at last. Haruka was panting as Michiru held her up. "By the Goddess I never knew she was so strong. I didn't think she had it in her."  
"She can't fight him in her mind." Makoto said mournfully. "She's losing the battle."  
"It's worse than you think." Mamoru said grimly. "He just showed her that she is really protecting the world from herself. She is the ultimate enemy, the true deadly power and that is why he targeted her. He just made her destroy the city, destroy us and she would have destroyed herself save that Rei intervened."  
"You know all that?" Makoto asked, incredulous.  
Mamoru nodded tiredly. "I have been going into our link, our bond, hoping to shield her in some way, wanting to see what it is he puts her through. How she has managed to make it this far without losing her mind is beyond me, but I hold it as a testament to her strength that she has been able to do it."  
"She is strong." Artemis cut in. "She has to learn how strong."  
"She cannot fight him on this plane can she?"  
"Once he regains his body then she can fight him, but he is more wraith than man. He will retreat to her mind and then he will begin again."  
"So she has to fight him in her mind."  
"Since he first reintroduced himself." A voice cut in. The senshi turned to see a grim faced Guardian of Time and a furious Senshi of Silence.   
"This whole bit of foreplay has been to wear her down. In the future Rubeus wanted Serenity for himself, but Dimando had his eyes set on her. Hatred and bitterness are what drove him, when he sated his pleasures on the Four Sisters he managed to stay in control, but Usagi healed them, made them good. His fury at her grew. Usagi kept him from succeeding, knowing he had been damned to death if he returned, he made one last desperate attempt to succeed and failed because Usagi foiled his attempts." The senshi of death explained, sighing. "It was foreseen that he would return. He has come for her. Only her. He doesn't give a damn about any of you and you know it. She has offered to go to him willingly. He is ready to accept that, to let her be his avatar, to let her be his mate. Like a mouse inside a maze he toys with her. It's a crazy man's utopia."  
Setsuna leapt in to explain. "No matter how strong you are, she always has been and ever will be more powerful, you know it, he knows it, the galaxy knows it."  
"But Usagi doesn't know it." Ami said quietly. "And therein lies the problem."  
Setsuna nodded. "Usagi knows she has the strength inside herself, but she doesn't believe in it. She has no faith in herself, in her abilities, in anything she does. Her self confidence and esteem have eroded to the point that she longs for death, yearns for it, yet something undefineable keeps her alive, keeps her going."  
"Love." Minako said abruptly. "Love is the only thing that keeps her going. Her love for this world, for this life, for us and our love for her."  
Setsuna nodded again. "But it's not enough. You can encourage her and give her love until time ends and she won't believe a word of it."  
"How do we help her?" Mamoru asked, smoothing some hair off her sweaty brow.  
Hotaru opened her mouth to speak when Rei's alarmed voice cut through the chatter. "Get the hell away from her now! I can't hold this incantation any longer!"  
Rapidly moving away from her, Usagi's body glowed with radiant power much like when she turned into the Princess. The ginzuishou glowed as Usagi drew on it, lending it's power to it's mistress, sensing her peril. Unable to look at her, they shielded their eyes looking away from the radiant and beautiful sight. When they looked at the bed again, Usagi was gone.  
  
  
  
  
Rubeus paced, he rubbed his hands together in glee letting large blackened flakes of charred flesh fall to the floor as he watched Usagi accept the unenviable, but unalterable truth. The true enemy had always been her, the true destroyer her, the bringer of destruction was her – she was not the salvation, she was not the Light. He whispered into her brain driving her closer to the brink of madness. How he had hated her from the first time he saw her! How he had yearned and desired and lusted for her without luck! He hated himself for his arousal towards her, he had flagellated himself regularly because he could not control his thoughts of what he wanted to do to her. When he had found out his brother Dimando had an attraction to her, he grew ever more disgusted with himself. His desire overrode any other thought so when the chance came to destroy HER back in the past he had leapt at it with a eagerness he had never before displayed when it came to things. Seeing her young self in the past before she had been burdened with the weight of Crystal Tokyo had inflamed his senses. He wanted her. When he had captured the senshi his goal had been to use her body and sate himself before killing her. She had destroyed that chance and destroyed that life. He had resigned himself to death.  
His shock and surprise had come in discovering that hatred could keep him alive. In a sense he had become what the Wiseman had once been. His hatred kept him in limbo, let him heal, let him gather strength, let him torment himself further by watching her. The first time she had let Mamoru make love to her, his fury had been overwhelming. She would be HIS before he inhabited her body. He wanted her power. The child was insignificant, never going to come near the power her mother had. Usagi was the destroyer of nations – if he could get her to realize it. In startlement he realized she had managed to evade him once again, her body vanished, her mind a blank. He could not sense her, he could not torment and torture her. He did not live inside her head. Where had she gone? His howl of rage echoed through the vast nothingness he had consigned himself to live in. 'Merltak!' he barked. 'I don't know where she is, but find her and bring her to me! I want her taken alive!' he ordered, barely able to form coherent words.  
'It is done.' Merltak replied in a hissing voice.   
Rubeus' face contorted in a furious sneer as he cursed fluently. Where the hell had she gone?  
  
  
  
Luna smiled affectionately at the child she was beginning to think of as hers. "Well what we need to do is take the ginzuishou from her and make her realize that her time has ended, and the day will start with you as the new Queen. It is only right my darling."  
Chibi Usa sighed and nodded. "She can amazingly stubborn at times though Luna."  
"Don't I know it." Luna groaned. "We must think of something. In her mentally delirious state it should be no problem. She is a worthless baka idiot, good for nothing, with no point. She is a waste of breath, a waste of skin, a waste of a Lunarian. You will never have these mental problems and for that I am grateful. She is an exasperating and useless bitch."  
"I know Luna." Chibi Usa nodded. "How I goddamn well hate her! She is unworthy of the ginzuishou, unworthy of Mamoru, unworthy of anything. If she is being tortured and tormented by Rubeus – a fact I highly doubt…"  
"Then it's no less than she deserves for being such a stupid ass all the time." Luna finished. "I've thought about that too, but you know she's a lying, brainless, hopeless drama queen. She's making it up to get sympathy, to make up for her mistakes. She refuses to take responsibility for what she has done, for what she has to do. She has no credibility in my eyes."  
"No integrity." Chibi Usa agreed. "So, how do we go about this? How ashamed I am that she is my mother!"  
"Try not to think about it sweet thing." Luna consoled. "Let me think…"  
  
  
  
  
Usagi's eyes opened to a world of white. There was nothing but there was everything. Things she had never known before coursed through her with the force of an electric current, making her twitch. She felt a balm over her agonized mind as she took deep calming breaths. Where was she and how had she gotten here?  
"You know where you are." A calm and soothing voice told her.  
Usagi jerked, turning instinctively towards the voice since there was no back or forward, up or down in this place she was.  
"You know who I am." The voice was amused. "Indeed I would be hurt if you did not."  
Usagi's eyes widened in recognition. It couldn't be. It was impossible….  
"Why is it impossible?" the voice questioned. "I have come to help you, perhaps to save you."  
Usagi shook her head, her body trembling. How had she got here? She knew where she was now.  
"You know how you got here." The voice reassured her. "Why seek you answers which you already know. Instead, why don't you focus on the problem at hand?"  
The voice confronted her with implacable logic as it always had, as she knew it always would. She glanced down at her body, not surprised to see herself naked.   
"Does clothing matter here?" the voice questioned. "What does matter?"  
Usagi drew in a breath and let it out, her last exhalation as she realized the truth – and gave up her soul.  
  
  
  
  
Ooooh, so where is Usagi? Who is this new mysterious voice? Please let me know what you think as I write based on reviews and if no one is reading, I ain't writing! I've also added to my other stories and posted two new poems, so please read and let me know what you think! Reviews keep me sane and trust me in Japan that's a necessity of life. If the heat here doesn't kill me, some maniac on a bike might! I don't fear being hit by a car…but I do fear death by bicycle. They hold umbrellas, talk on cell phones and read all while driving bikes! And they call foreigners strange!  
  
Until next time! Let's get those reviews rolling in!  
Ja! 


	6. Let the spirit move me

Hello all! Sorry I have a ton to say but I am running out the door to work so I will add more with the next chapter! Hope you all enjoy this and to those who emailed me, no the mysterious figure isn't Queen Serenity! SM not mine, standard disclaimers. NO FLAMES! Read and review but be kind! Hope you enjoy!  
  
  
  
  
Rubeus closed his eye in fury and anger, unable to find where Usagi had vanished to, wondering who's power had intervened to take her from him. Without being able to enter her mind and cause her pain, his weakness returned tenfold. "Come my minions, rise for your master, let your evil shine!" he intoned. "Find her now!" he ordered. "I will not be returned to oblivion again – she is the key, she is the gatekeeper, she is holding all I need. Find her and bring her to me! The last Lunarian will be mine!"  
  
The minions cowered and grovelled, praying he wouldn't turn his considerable temper on them, hoping he wouldn't attack them. His life was on the line, his existence in the balance, he needed to feed off her until he regained his body – everything depended on it.  
  
  
  
Usagi blinked as a soft silver and white light greeted her. "So at last you are awake." The voice greeted her.  
  
Usagi shook her head. It was impossible; she hadn't heard that voice… "It can't be." She said aloud.  
  
The light parted on the figure, who smiled slightly. Orange-red hair cascading to the ground, a yellow sheath dress that covered her body, a figure who had managed to see Usagi's light and hang on, waiting for her to save her. Usagi had glanced at her and seen this figure inside, not the nightmare she had become, the ability to read souls her greatest gift. "Galaxia." She murmured.  
  
Galaxia smiled as she walked over to Usagi, clad in a simple white sheath herself and embraced her tightly. "It had been a long time Hope."  
  
"Hope?" Usagi glanced at her as she returned the hug, happy to see that Galaxia had become a good person once more.  
  
"You are the light of Hope, you are the Messiah, and your name throughout the galaxy gives hope and comfort to all. I call you Hope, for to me that is what you are. Without you, you never would have saved me from that monster I had become with Chaos; the galaxy would be in ruins. It took the strength of the greatest Lunarian ever born to save me. Remember, I once told you I saw your light Sailor Moon – I felt your warmth. I see your light from anywhere in the galaxy, as others do and it comforts us." Galaxia explained as she released Usagi. "You keep the galaxy warm with your heart."  
  
"How can I be a comfort to anyone when I fear I am going mad?" Usagi asked, searching for her soul and finding it gone.  
  
"That is why I came." Galaxia's comforting smile slid off her face. "Your light is dimming, fading, vanishing for days at a time. Fear is growing because you mean more to this galaxy than you could ever imagine. The Starlights especially are worried, Seiya in particular – he sends his best wishes by the way."  
  
Usagi closed her eyes, a shudder going through her. "What do I do Galaxia?" she wailed. "I cannot fight him for he attacks me in the one place I can't fight back! I feel violated, I feel filthy, I feel awful!"  
  
"Let the tears come Usagi," Galaxia urged. "Only through allowing yourself to feel and heal will you be able to defeat him."  
  
"I cannot let down my defences." Usagi confessed. "He will know if I do."  
  
"Not in this place Hope." Galaxia said soothingly. "Here, you are safe from him and his prying eyes. Here is where I will tell you how to defeat him."  
  
"My soul," Usagi began. "It's gone. What happened to it?"  
  
"It is not gone, merely in another place for the moment. The only way I could bring you here was to force your soul out of your body." Galaxia smiled. "Worry not Hope! I love you and would never harm you."  
  
Usagi smiled wanly, uncertain as to her strong reassurances. "What do I do Galaxia?"  
  
Galaxia gestured to the place she had brought her. "Do you truly no longer recognize this place Hope?" she asked gently. "Has time taken so much from you?"  
  
Usagi looked around slowly as her eyes widened. 'Let the Spirit move me.' Was emblazoned on the wall proudly. "This is holy ground." She whispered as she stumbled back a few steps.  
  
Galaxia nodded. "And with the blessing of those who want to see him defeated, you have been given permission to set foot on this sacred soil. Here Hope, you will learn how to defeat him, here you will discover who you truly are, and here is where Sailor Moon makes her last stand. It is time to accept all that you are, and by accepting that evolve into who you are truly meant to be."  
  
Usagi closed her eyes, relishing her mind which was free of his voice, of his unseen eyes. It had been so long she had forgotten what it was like to have only her in her head. Galaxia had given her back her life. She sighed sadly. "Look at me, you may think you see who I really am but you'll never know me. Every day it's as if I play a part. If I wear a mask I can fool the world." She murmured.  
  
Galaxia was at her side in an instant. "But everyone out THERE knows you, and loves you. We want you to succeed Hope, we want you to win." She paused. "Show the world what is inside your heart once more, as you once did to me and you will win."  
  
Usagi's silver blue eyes met Galaxia's pale ones as she read her intentions, read the truth and nodded. "Teach me then sister."  
  
Galaxia smiled radiantly. "Your first lesson begins now. Free your mind Hope, and pay attention."  
  
  
  
  
Mamoru paced, getting in the way of Haruka, Rei and Makoto who were also pacing, Haruka cursing profusely and muttering under her breath, Rei chanting incantations as she tried to figure out where the hell Usagi had vanished to. "The light, the light…" Rei kept repeating, certain that there was something familiar about that light, something she had recognized…  
  
"Shouldn't we be worrying about Rubeus and his minions?" Ami ventured timidly, the fury in the room palpable. "I mean we are going to have to fight them at some point right?"  
  
"Please Ami," Minako snorted. "We could defeat those spiny anteaters with our hands tied behind out backs. We have more important things to worry about like where is our Princess!" she burst out, concern for her best friend getting the best of her.  
  
Luna crept into the room and sneered at them. "Honestly you confuse me by professing allegiance to that bubble brained freak." She said nastily. Chibi Usa trailed in after her as Luna made a full bow. "Here is your future Queen, show her homage and bow in her presence, you are her senshi!"  
  
Michiru narrowed her eyes dangerously at the cat as Haruka abandoned subltly and lunged for Luna with a snarl. Only a well placed Makoto held her back. The two girls exchanged a hostile look for a moment before Haruka relaxed and turned her back on Luna and Chibi Usa. "She has her own senshi in the future if she would go there and stay there. We swore Warriors Oath to Usagi herself. No one else."  
  
"You swore to protect her and her own." Luna reminded them.  
  
"How can we protect a child who hasn't been born yet?" Ami asked idly as she began tapping on the Mercury computer. "Technically she doesn't exist. Either way this conversation is pointless. Our concern is for Usagi, our friend and Princess, she is being tormented in her mind by Rubeus a foe we thought long vanquished…this creates a difficulty for us…"  
  
"What else is new?" Chibi Usa sneered. "All Usagi does is make things more difficult for you, whereas I help out!"  
  
"She has offered to sacrifice herself in place of us and he has for the most part agreed to it…to save us she will give up all she has." Ami continued, ignoring the child.  
  
"It's the least she can do." Chibi Usa interjected.  
  
"We have to find a way to stop her from doing that, but once Usagi has made up her mind it's nearly impossible to change it and we all know that."  
  
"Does she have a mind?" Chibi Usa mused out loud.  
  
Ami closed her eyes, struggling to ignore her. "So we must figure out a way for her to fight him where he will be weak, for she cannot fight him inside her own mind."  
  
  
"Where HE will be weak?" Chibi Usa said sceptically. "He was never weak whereas Usagi…"  
  
"Would you shut the hell up!?" Ami burst out, unable to take this child for another second. "If you don't close your mouth then I will close it for you! You were not invited here to this meeting of concerned minds and you are not welcome! Leave now!" she pointed towards the door.  
  
Silence fell through the room as everyone stared at Ami as if she had grown another head. Ami never burst out screaming like that to anyone, for any reason. "You DARE raise your voice to her!" Luna began in a self righteous fury.  
  
"Luna!" Artemis cut in. "Enough of this!"  
  
"I will not be silenced!" Luna yowled. "I will make my point known!"  
  
"The point has been made Luna, the point conceded." Usagi's voice came calmly into the room. "We all know where you stand and have ever since that child has come into our lives. You have derided me and abused me, in some ways you are no better than Ingra and Merltak. You might not be openly working for Rubeus but because of you I was weakened enough that he was able to invade my mind and drive me to the brink of insanity. He listened, he watched and he learned how to penetrate into my deepest self. Because he listened to you. I thought the insults they used on me were a little too familiar and thanks to a friend I now see you for what you are."  
  
"What are you talking about? Show yourself Odango brains." Luna snapped furiously.  
  
"I remember now when you turned on my mother after I was born," Usagi continued. "You said your allegiance was no longer to her but to me. I should have remembered and known you would do this. You were on the brink of being expelled from court in the Silver Millennium and you knew it."  
  
Luna glanced around, looking for someone to defend her. "What? You're babbling."  
  
"On the contrary," Usagi's angry voice continued. "I see things clearly now, for I let the spirit move me."  
  
Once Usagi uttered those words, Luna's eyes widened until only the whites were visible. "It's not possible! That's holy ground…" she shook her head in denial. "Only…"  
  
"Only senshi may tread there, only the Messiah may go there, only the Hope of the Galaxy may absorb the power inherent. It is the ground where senshi are created, where senshi are born, it is where time meets and stops – Setsuna's favourite place to go I might add."  
  
Hotaru's eyes lit up once Usagi finished her sentence. "Hope…it's not a bad thing…" she began.  
  
Setsuna sat up from where she had sprawled on the couch. "It is what gives a person strength and courage to go on." She walked rapidly across the room. "Usagi, show yourself."  
  
Usagi entered the room and silence fell. Her pupils were in the shape of stars and her hair fully silver. "He has re-entered my mind, he is watching me once again and his minions are coming. The battle is nigh."  
  
Haruka dropped to her knees in front of her. "You have stood upon holy ground."  
  
"You are she." Hotaru added as she knelt next to Haruka. "I have only seen you like this once, after the defeat of Galaxia."  
  
"Who do you think helped me?" Usagi arched an eyebrow. "She saved me, she sensed my torment and she came to me."  
  
Minako ran and hugged Usagi tightly. "Holy ground or not, tormented and tortured or not I don't care. Thank the goddess you are back, I was terrified."  
  
Usagi raised her face to her friends. "I know how to defeat him. The battle must take place in my mind as Setsuna had foreseen, but I am prepared to fight him. I know how to win."  
  
Mamoru wrenched her out of Minako's grip and pressed her to him tightly. "I don't care about any of that Usako, as long as you are safe."  
  
"As long as he and his minions torment me I will never be safe, never be free. I am an awful and terrible and wretched person as Luna has constantly told me, I know this but I must persevere anyway. The loser, the one who has never succeeded or achieved anything in her life must do this. Though it disgusts all of you, you must trust in me, the klutz, the failure."  
  
"Usako…" Mamoru began in an angry voice.  
  
"Please just listen." Usagi said in a soft voice as she gestured her senshi around her. "Luna, since you are not one of us, get out."  
  
"I will not leave and neither will this angel child!" Luna protested angrily.  
  
"Luna, you have the option of leaving on your feet or being thrown." Makoto cracked her knuckles as Rei joined her side her lavender eyes blazing. "Please continue to argue."  
  
Luna sniffed angrily. "Traitors. I'll deal with you later. Come on darling."   
  
Chibi Usa stuck her tongue out as she ran out after Luna. "Now that the traitors are gone, I will tell you what Galaxia told me." Usagi began.  
  
  
  
Rubeus fumed, he howled, he protested. She had returned and he returned to his rightful place in her mind, but she had somehow learned to put up a shield, he couldn't see everything anymore! In a anger that was as terrifying as it was refreshing to him, he ordered his minions to strike immediately and kill them all.  
  
  
  
  
And so endeth this chapter. I have never had such a long time trying to write a chapter before as I did with this one since I kept getting interrupted! I hope you enjoyed it as I have more plot twists coming in the next chapters! I write based on reviews so keep them coming in, right now they are crawling and trickling in! No flames! Talk to you later!  
  
Ja ne! 


	7. The dark place

Hello all! Sorry it's been awhile since my last update but it's very hard to find free time to update here, though I do sacrifice sleep for it, and I have been going through some romantic problems. To any guys who read this: when a man says he will not hurt you and is not playing games, does he really mean it or is it a line? Anyway, as I run from a man who got too close to me (as is my habit), I update for you all in hopes of working this all out in my mind. Read and review but be kind. No flames please. Standard disclaimers. Enjoy!  
  
  
  
  
  
Usagi closed her eyes and concentrated, knowing that deep within each heart there lay a magic spark that lit the fires of imagination. Since the dawn of man, the strength of just the phrase "I can" permitted people to perform amazing feats and succeed where they would otherwise fail. She had to discover the power of dream, for that was where their battle would take place. Her mind took her far, the rest was just her heart, and her fate was now her own creation. She was so tired of being spied on, of being used as a tool, as a pawn in his game. Her hair cascaded around her in a silver pool as her eyes gleamed in the fading light of the day. Her moon rose as she knelt in the light and prayed for strength. She was at the point where she thought she couldn't, but had discovered that she could. The battle was nigh. She felt the Minions coming to battle her senshi and she prayed that her friends could defeat this scourge that came to them, for she was the cause of it, she was solely to blame and she accepted the responsibility. She could almost feel the ground tremble beneath her feet as they approached, as they came closer and she thought with an ironic smile that she would be quite unable to go to school that day. She figured that Haruna sensei knew what was going on because she just shook her head and accepted it. Usagi had saved her sensei too many times for her not to figure out what was happening - as with Naru and Umino.   
  
  
The senshi had transformed and surrounded Usagi in a protective circle, Makoto and Haruka barely able to contain their battle rage. They wanted to hurt something and badly for the pain that had been inflicted to the one who was the centre of their world, their raison d'être as it were. Rei had gone through every incantation she had and opened up her chi to accepting the full maximum of power that her planet would allow her. Every part of her seemed to be alive with fire, steam seemed to rise off the fire senshi as she swore that no one would insult or hurt her princess except for her. Minako had seemed to change from being the senshi of love to the senshi of hate, for the string of insults and desire to hurt Rubeus and his minions was frightening to hear, but the biggest change of all, and the one that would be the most deadly was Ami. Quiet Ami who had lost her temper with Chibi Usa, gentle Ami who was like Usagi and tried to avoid a fight and not hurt anyone. Ami spoke not a word, but out of her subspace pockets she had pulled a set of lethal and scary looking gauntlets engraved with the symbol of Mercury on it, leading all the senshi to realize that she had done some research to find them. With the gauntlets on her delicate wrists, Ami radiated coldness and frost as Rei radiated fire, causing Michiru to look at her sister in water with a new respect, but of course it was to be expected for as soon as one challenged Usagi, they challenged all Senshi and damned if they'd put up with it. Usagi had done too much and was too much to them for them to abandon her now. Without asking, they followed her. They gave her respect without her ever having to ask for it, her actions long ago deemed that she was more than worthy. "Once she is inside her own mind with Rubeus under no circumstances must she be moved." Hotaru said abruptly. Her body will be here and vulnerable, and it is her body here she must protect, for if it is destroyed, her mind and soul will be forever in limbo and she will be unable to return. Perhaps she would even become what he is now."  
  
  
Setsuna nodded, not liking this turn of events one little bit. "Usagi, you must remain here where it is safe."  
  
  
Usagi arched an eyebrow at her friend and shook her head, a small sad smile on her face. "I cannot," she said quietly. "I offered to give myself to him in return for him leaving you all alone and he will. When the minions come, he will come and take me. You cannot stop it, you cannot change it. I made the offer knowing what would come. I will be his, and he will use me until such a time as he deems me weak enough that he will enter me - both physically and mentally and then the battle will begin."  
  
  
Mamoru looked sick with the knowledge of what Usagi had to do to get close enough to him. She had to give herself to Rubeus in an act reserved only for lovers for it would weaken the shell that housed his vile spirit and would give her the advantage. "At least transform with the rest of them so you will have a bit more power." he suggested, hoping to keep the rage and jealousy and fear out of his voice.  
  
  
Usagi looked at her soulmate, at her future husband and shook her head. "Only the Princess may meet him, for that is who truly captivated him as it did his brother. I will not be Sailor Moon for this battle, I will be me." Usagi stood and walked through the protective circle of her guardians and wrapped her arms around Mamoru's neck, bringing his ear to her lips. "Worry not beloved for when he takes me into his arms I will be thinking of you. There will be no joy, no pleasure in this act for it is not you who will be loving me but a sick parody of that which was once a man and now is less than a lich. I love you and I pray that you will not look at me with too much disgust for what I must do to save everyone and myself. Forgive me beloved for that which destiny has decreed for me."  
  
  
Mamoru pulled away so he could look into her silver eyes, her beautiful silver eyes, so knowledgeable, so innocent. "I would never look upon you with disgust my love. I know that you dread what you must do and I forgive you for doing it. I love you Usako, and I only fear that you will not return to me alive."  
  
  
"I will come back to you Mamoru, I always have before, this time is no different save for the playing field." Usagi reassured him.   
  
  
Mamoru held her close. "If I lost you Usako..." he trailed off, unable to complete that thought, his memories of holding her dead body in his arms and coursing through their link.  
  
  
"Trust me." Usagi promised. "Trust me to do what needs to be done."  
  
  
"I don't know about Tux boy there," Haruka cut in, "but there is no one else who I would rather trust this responsibility to."  
  
  
Murmurs of 'hear, hear' went around the room when Usagi went stock still. "Do you hear them yet? Do you hear the hellish serenade of the damned?" she asked softly.  
  
  
"You are such a failure, you are making it up, honestly, hogging the senshi here when Chibi Usa needs them worse right now!" Luna snorted as she poked her head into the room. "Stop telling wild stories and tales and just accept the fact that your time is finished."  
  
  
  
Haruka glared at the cat as Usagi cut in. "Luna I don't have time for this or for you. If I fail here it will not be for your lack of trying. I know I am clumsy, whiny, a crybaby and a wimp, but right now I need you to shut up!"  
  
  
Luna opened her mouth to speak and Rei grabbed her and stuffed her in the nearest closet, making certain she locked it and giving a slight bow to the applause that broke out. "Wish I'd thought of that." Haruka muttered.   
  
  
Usagi returned to the centre of the circle her friends formed and knelt back down, closing her eyes and concentrating. The eyes and the presence gloated, they rejoiced that her defenses were slowly breaking down. He whispered things into her brain assuring her that she was insane. She knew he thought that her head was in his hands, but he didn't know that violent use brings violent plans, and she was planning on being completely merciless, not just for herself, but to right a wrong that he did long ago to one who was truly innocent.  
  
  
"Protect her body." Setsuna reminded them as the minions came over the crest of a hill, marching in a bloody and devilish fashion. "She will not be able to fight back. Remember we can only protect her, we cannot fight a war for her."  
  
  
"Wanna bet?" Haruka, Rei and Makoto asked simultaneously, grinning at each other goofily, before hardening their faces and turning their eyes forward.   
  
  
"Here they come." Ami murmured.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Rubeus rejoiced, for surely that pitiful band of girls were no match for his demon chorus. He had trained them well, and they were strong. Their weapons all lethal, their words poision tipped. They would go for the soul and the body, leaving the mind for him to feed upon, and when they fell they too would feed upon souls. He would have a body after this day and he would use it for total domination of that which he had coveted for so long. He wanted to make these morons understand that there was no good and evil, there was only power, and those too weak to seek it, like Usagi. Ah he couldn't wait to lay over her, to feel her wrapped around him as he entered her mind and stole her very essence. He was more than just a lich, more than a ghoul, he was the start of a new race. She was destroyer, she was the salvation, but which would she be here today? He knew, as no others did save for Usagi herself that she had one power within her grasp, the power that Saturn had, the power which her family had gifted to that planet of silence, and he knew that if she had half the chance she would take her own life, taking him with her. She had offered to give herself to save the innocents and he would at last accept her silly offer, knowing she had made it out of the desperation of her heart.   
  
  
"It is time." he said solemly, drawing the shadows around him like a cloak. Appearing before her mentally, he sensed her steeling herself. Chuckling in a pre-arranged victory, he parted the folds of her mind and stepped inside.  
  
  
  
  
Usagi had arched, her eyes wild and let out an involuntary shriek before collapsing in a heap on the carpet. Haruka stepped towards her and Hotaru stood in her path. "Don't touch her." she snapped. "Now it might mean her death."  
  
  
Helpless with rage and concern, Haruka let her anger course through her. "Where the hell are they?" she asked in a voice not her own.  
  
  
"Do not attack in rage Haruka, for then you are no better than they are." Rei said calmly. "I want to open up a severe can of whoop ass on these minions and I have every intention of doing so. They crossed the wrong princess." her words were heated, as she was the essence of the Fire Goddess herself.  
  
  
Haruka swallowed and nodded to Michiru who breathed a sigh of relief. Setsuna's head jerked up as her eyes turned to Usagi. "I'm an idiot!" she cried out, her hand hitting her head.  
  
  
"What?" Mamoru asked, fearing the answer.  
  
  
"She told us, she told us many times but I never made the connection until now." Setsuna said, wringing her hands. The display of emotion from the Time Guardian shocked and scared the others. "She is the salvation and the destroyer. Which will she be to defeat him? What did Galaxia tell her she must do? She has the same dread power as Hotaru, only more so and she will die before she lets him harm us. Oh Usagi, now I know why you were so secretive!"  
  
  
The Senshi's eyes widened in horror as they stared at the inert form on the floor, realizing her secret. Before anything else could be said or done, the damned bell that the minions had been ringing stopped. The bell tolled no longer. Stepping outside the house, the senshi nodded at their silent pact to protect the treasure within. Silence was louder than anything else as the enemies sized each other up, before the inital breaking of lines as they raced towards the house, a black wave of death. "Free for all!" Haruka hollered as she gleefully waded into the fray, able to hurt something at last.   
  
  
"Save the Princess!" Rei screamed as she released her fire in liquid gout of death.  
  
  
Makoto said nothing, only hacked and slashed and threw her attacks with vicious accuracy, ignoring the gaping wounds appearing on her body, ignoring the lies the minions breathed and spat at her.  
  
  
Ami analyzed the entire situation as she left a herd of frozen and maimed minions in her wake, thankful for all the training she had received, grateful for Makoto showing her the finer points of how to poke eyes and kick below the belt.  
  
  
Minako's face was grimly set as she plunged into the dark tide, concern and love for her friend the only thing that kept her battle madness at bay, the only thing that kept her sane. Usagi must be protected while she faced off with Rubeus, and she was the leader of the Senshi (after her Princess) so damn it she would lead! When there were no more minions, she shook her head. "That was too easy." she said aloud, eyeing the destruction and death that lay so casually around the house.  
  
  
"You call that easy?" Neptune's incredulous voice cut through.  
  
  
"They had to know this wouldn't work." Haruka agreed, surveying the wreckage and sighing at how long it would take to make the yard look half decent...AGAIN.  
  
  
"Look!" Hotaru's sharp eyes pointed out to just beyond the trees where laughing figures stood.  
  
  
"Ingra." Ami confirmed with her visior.  
  
  
"Merltak." Makoto's voice dripped venom and hatred.   
  
  
"The strongest ones come now." Setsuna agreed, looking none the worse for wear. "Now the true battle begins, for they will help us die."  
  
  
"Only if they come too." Michiru cracked her knuckles, casting one final glance at the house. "Shall we begin the death chant now?"  
  
  
"The situation isn't bad enough yet." Minako sighed, then straightened. "Here we go again."  
  
  
  
  
  
Mamoru cradled Usagi's head in his hands, helplessness threatening to overwhelm him. He knew that she battled in where she had no defenses, in her mind where Rubeus could get her but he could not. "Be strong Usako, you can defeat him." he said aloud, brushing her soft hair off her face.  
  
  
"Leave her and come with me."   
  
  
Mamoru looked up to see Chibi Usa standing before him. He had to fight to keep his lip from curling. Had he once truly loved that child? "Go away Chibi Usa. I stay with Usagi."  
  
  
"She will fail as she always does. Rubeus is dedicated to how he is killing her, and might, MIGHT let her live if she calls him Master. She will succumb to him. She is so weak." she said scornfully.   
  
  
"Begone you hell child." Mamoru spat at her. "I am ashamed to be your future father."  
  
  
Chibi Usa's red eyes gleamed in fury. "You will regret saying that to me....daddy." she turned on her heel and stormed out of the room, forgotten as soon as Mamoru had turned his eyes from her and back to Usagi. "Hang on beloved." he pleaded. "You can do this, do not give up!"  
  
  
  
  
  
Darkness. Nothingness. Was this death? Usagi wasn't quite sure. What part of her mind was this?  
  
  
- At last we have come to this battle of true minds. At last you come to me. -  
  
  
  
-Reveal yourself. - Usagi demanded.  
  
  
Laughter around her. - In time my little rabbit, in time. For now why not relish this place? -   
  
  
- Where are we? - Usagi asked again.  
  
  
- A part of your mind you apparently forgot about and never knew existed. This is your mind, this is your dark place, and this is where you are weakest. Are you ready for me? -  
  
  
  
- I will not give in to you, and then you will be forced to destroy me. - Usagi thought defiantely.  
  
  
  
- If needs be. I will destroy you my little bunny, but it is up to you to decide how soon that happens.-  
  
  
-I will not surrender.- Usagi relaxed for a moment.  
  
  
- You are unwise to lower your defenses!- he thought triumphantly as he struck her, sending her reeling back, blood trickling from her mouth. - Stupid, stupid idiotic girl! You can't defeat me? Haven't you realized that yet?-  
  
  
Usagi pulled herself up, fear evident in her eyes as she faced the awful truth that she would lose, that she would die here and he would still be free. Despair threatened to overwhelm her as she let out a keening wail and collapsed, unable to find it in herself to go on. Rubeus rose above her now, victorious and triumphant. -Young fool,- he thought. -Only now, at the end, do you understand.-  
  
  
Usagi bowed her head in shame as he grabbed her violently and lowered his blackened and charred lips to hers. The day was lost and they could not win, for as Luna had predicted, she had failed. She did not see the light glowing from within her, she saw only despair and black.  
  
  
  
  
  
And so it ends for this chapter! I hope you enjoyed! Remember I write based on reviews so lets get them moving in here a little bit faster! Anyone who has advice on relationships (since I have the WORST taste in men) please give some to me, believe me I need it! Remember no flames and I will see you shortly as I have some good ideas for what will happen next!  
  
Ja ne! 


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